Is Karly up for eviction?

The Sun for once, doesn't have full news on who's been nominated.

It does tell us that, unsurprisingly, both Sophie and Siavash are up. As I suggested yesterday, they were both given time tests as punishments for breaking the rules about discussing nominations. They had until three o'clock to go without swearing. Two hours in, Sophie swore, and when Siavash found out he swore too! What a gent.

The big story, though, found on this usually reliable site, is that two others are up: Noirin and Karly. Karly?

Silent Saturday

So what happened on Saturday?

Search me, squire. News from the C4 website is opaque at best. And by the time the LIVE FEED came on the only conversation that happened was a brief exchange between Charlie and Marcus. Everyone else was asleep. Thrill a minute stuff, or what?

I guess everyone was too worn out by the trauma of Kris leaving, and the redrawing of the battlelines. And the tears spilled over Chairgate.

Why I turned down BB invite

GUEST POST FROM BB8's LESLEY BRAIN

Carole (BB8) has many political causes and last night she chose to make out a very strong case for the burkha.

Seeing her, and obviously she has been eating prodigiously since we last met, in bra and knicks last seen in the film FREE WILLY, I was convinced.

Sign me up, Carole.

Kris is evicted

Kris is gone!

63% wanted him out. Not as satisfying, or even as close as any of the previous evictions, but there haven't been five up before either. In the first series they would tell us the complete breakdown: how many voted for Marcus, how many for Sophie and so on, but now, as in so many matters, it's all kept away from us.

The interview went pretty much as expected. Stunned by the sheer unexpectedness of it, coupled with all the booing, Kris was knocked off his perch and was uncharacteristically quite modest and self-effacing. He was even funny. If he'd been like that in the house he might well have won.

Kristy the clown

That was a fun show last night, wasn't it?

Well it might have been, if we'd actually seen it. Too many adverts, too many cuts, Charlie unicycling - twice!  and then the whole thing came to a grinding halt. Action-packed, it was.

Still, amid all the confusion, we have learned two things. 1, it doesn't really matter who started it. 2. Noirin made a huge mistake.

15 minutes of fame? You must be joking!

GUEST POST FROM BB8's LESLEY BRAIN

It is said that housemates have five minutes of fame...this lot is forgotten while they are still in the house.

They really are a disparate group of saddoes whose common factor is that they all hate each other.

So last night I decided to really, really concentrate on the Forgotten Ones. It isn't easy...

Noirin v Siavash

Last night they were at it like rabbits.

No, Kris and Sophie didn't finally get down and do it. What happened was that Siavash told Noirin that she jumped from group to group like a rabbit.

Or rather, he said that's what he thought the others thought.

Then, the new-improved Superconfident Freddie gave her what for.

Three new housemates. One big twist.

This just in on the imdb forum - absolutely no confirmation yet so please gulp down with a pinch of salt.

 "3 Brand new faces will enter the house in the midst of the most explosive Big Brother week ever.

Several ex housemates will enter the compound next week and will live amongst the housemates for two days.

The Silent Treatment

So, nominations. Always the key moment of the week, the one place where we learn who likes who, who hates who, and what subtle undercurrents are going on. Indeed, without the LIVE FEED, you could say they are more critical than ever.

They didn't show'em.

Okay, they don't always show all of them, and that's been going on for a couple of years now, but they do at least tell us the numbers, and who voted for whom. But on last night's show we weren't even told. Just a brief wrap at the end saying how Marcus and Freddie were up.

Get Kris Out!

Kris? Up for eviction?

The man who has only once previously been nominated? The much-loved banter-addicted Freddie-hater, whose fun-loving antics and Brokeback Mountaineering pranks and cider-stealing japes with Charlie have got the metrosexuals of this world billing and cooing, and whose love affair with Sophie has touched the nations' heart?

Now, out of nowhere Kris is up for eviction? Say it ain't so, Sonny Jim.

Can Rodrigo win?

On opening night I had to pick a favourite.

It's a bit like putting a fiver on the Grand National, it's a tradition. Last year I picked Rachel, and whatdoyouknow, she went and won! Even better, I wanted her to! I still think Rodrigo's got a pretty good chance now, but I'm not so sure I want him to. Still, as I will probably be saying a week before the end, it's early days.

This time last year we had already had our Brand New Housemates Friday night. Sara, Maysoon, Belinda Belinda Belinda, remember?

The Heatwave is over

And so is the hatewave.

Sree's going acted like a valve being released. Suddenly the tension that had been welling up since the very first night splashed out like someone had kicked the tap fully open. It started, as ever, with Freddie. When someone goes the usual procedure is for those sitting on the chairs, waiting to be told by BB that they can go now, is to say nice things about the evictee.

Well, they all had their turn, then Freddie ripped in, damning him conclusively. Typical Freddie, really. Always saying what he thinks, saying what he thinks EVERYBODY thinks, oblivious to the fact that others might disagree with him.

BB 10 is Pointless!!!

Guest post by BB8's LESLEY BRAIN

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!!! BB10 is pointless!!! Its point has become its very pointlessness.

 

I admit I saw it at a disadvantage last night. I had the television on. How much happier the Brain household would have been if we had acted it out ourselves like some July version of charades.

Sree is evicted

Sree has gone, and the margin was 85.44%. I'm surprised it was as close as that.

It was one of the most unrevealing interviews I've ever heard too. I can't even blame Davina. Jeremy Paxman would have had his work cut out trying to get any sense out of him. Sree was clearly rambling, didn't know what he was saying, didn't even know what he wanted to say. It was all just "personally, me" incoherent, contradictory gobbledygook.

I can even forgive Davina for dwelling on Noirin. She had to find something he could talk about.

Cracking Up

Tonight, Sree goes. Will he be shocked, will they be shocked?

On Tuesday Sree said he was 200% confident of staying. By Wednesday he was backtracking saying that Freddie was a "strong" candidate. He'd have to be even more stupid than I think he is to think otherwise. Freddie's survived three evictions. Sree hasn't survived any. How confident would you be in that situation?

It was interesting that even Marcus thought Sree would stay. Now if Marcus thinks that Sree could be popular, I think we can assume the Lisa Crew think the same.

The Summer of Love

Remember Freddie's opening words on launch night?

"Enjoy the show everyone, this is the summer of love 2009".

Well, it's the summer all right, but where is the love? You can't say he doesn't try. He still smiles, and gets involved, and talks to people. And sings. But as Jermaine Jackson once wisely observed, "you can't reason with unreason".

Noirin has her knockers

People criticise Noirin for leading people on.

People like Sree. And Angel. And Marcus clearly has the hots for her too, though he's very careful to keep it hidden. But Angel's gone, and Sree doesn't take no for an answer. In fact, Sree doesn't take anything for an answer because he doesn't listen to the answer in the first place. Still, finally - and not before time - Noirin fought back, and nominated Sree.

Sree, meanwhile, nominated Noirin.

Lesley Brain's BB quotes quiz

1. Who is reported to have said 'shaving my head was drastic but BB wanted a hard-faced lesbian and, as a method actor, I accepted the challenge'....?

 

.2. Who is so upset that people don't fully appreciate her incisive and self-depreciating style that she has begged the public, 'stop harshing my mallow''...?

 

 

Freddie v Sree

It isn't official, but the Sun confirm my prediction of yesterday that it would be these two fighting it out on Friday.

They've been right every week so far this series, but last time they also posted the number of nominations each got. Not this time. What does that mean? It's possible that one or two of them were banned or punished in some way for discussing nominations.

Last week, for example, five of the housemates not only nominated the same two people, they also offered very similar reasons.

Freddie v Sree?

In the diary room in last night's highlights Freddie said he relished the prospect of being up against Sree.

He was almost salivating at the idea. At one stage he did qualify it by saying if he were up. Of course, it  goes without saying that he thinks he'd win that battle all right. He'd definitely hate losing to him.

Is it likely? Freddie said that Lisa was already distancing herself from him, and yesterday's task fail will not have endeared him to his fellow losers.

Sophie v Kris

Do I see a crack developing in the relationship that has touched the hearts of millions?

Is Sophie going off the bearded pretty boy? Will the Love Affair of the century end with a Ziggy/Chanelle-like showdown, as Sophie kicks down the diary room door, never to be seen again?

I ask, only because Kris is getting doubts. Not about whether he likes her, but whether she likes him. Late last night he complained to Karly that he always had to make the first move, and that although he'd been trying to lay off her a bit, Sophie didn't seem to have even noticed.

Angel is evicted

Heaven may be missing an Angel, and so now is the Big Brother House.

81% wanted her out, which is harsh. There were moments last night when I thought she might actually swing it, what with Freddie talking calmly about how he expected to survive. Coming from Freddie, it just about sounded reasonable rather than arrogant, but I thought it might be a little closer than that.

It was a terrible exit, though, as well as being the slowest. Why the boos?

Fallen Angel

As expected, Angel has taken it badly.

The clever tactical thing to do when you've been told you might be evicted is to be nice and friendly. Don't take it too personally. Smile. The viewers hate a miseryguts.

You're one of the lucky ones to get chosen for a gameshow and there you are sulking like you've just had your foot bitten off by a very angry tiger.

Saving Captain Freddie

 GUEST POST FROM BB8's LESLEY BRAIN

There have been worse betrayals in the history of mankind than last night when Noirin voted against Freddie last night.

But I cannot think of them.

She stabbed our little hero, not just once but over and over again.

Freddie v Angel

Sree survives! I didn't see that coming.

But then I didn't know what a scheming vixen Noirin would prove to be. Of course, I sort of saw that Freddie and Angel would be in there or thereabouts, but I didn't expect Sree to escape.

What's my excuse? I didn't see - and it only happened during the day - Angel fatally rebuking the other girls for their weight problems. A lousy tactic by Angel, not that she appears to be playing tactically at all.

How to mend Big Brother

GUEST POST FROM BB8's LESLEY BRAIN

1. Fire all the production team.

2. Eject a housemate a day, randomly, and replace them with an ex-housemate or two, of my choice whether they liked it or not.

3. Make sex compulsory between midnight and 8.00.

Sree wants to leave

Be careful what you wish for, sunshine.

The first time he said it I think we all assumed it was yet more attention-seeking. So did BB. He said it in the diary room and BB, instead of doing its cosy, 'Big Brother is always here for you' spiel, calmly asked: "To clarify Sree, you say you want to leave the house". Sree quickly changed the subject.

But now he's been raving again about it, so much so that Rodrigo got annoyed. Rodrigo? Annoyed? Not two words you'd expect to see in the same sentence.

Mock Tudor

The tasks are coming thick and fast this year.

Okay, Freddie's Hippy Birthday wasn't technically a task, but it gave them all a good excuse to dress up, and made for a cracking highlights show - one of the funniest ever. They even stayed up most of the night drinking, and Angel went for another naked swim.

Strangely, that didn't make the highlights. Then yesterday, they were given another dressing up, Tudor Task.

Sexless Sophie

After the startling news that Noirin hasn't had sex for seven months here comes another bombshell. Sophie hasn't had sex since December 2007.

The poor lamb. Perhaps she's got a Pinocchio problem. The longer she goes without, the larger her breasts get. In which case - Come on Kris, do the girl a favour.

How do we know this? She got drunk last night. As indeed did everyone, as they were still celebrating Freddie's birthday, and she spilled the beans.

Sree has had sex with Noirin, Angel, Rodrigo & 3 cameramen..

BLOG HIJACK BY BB8's LESLEY BRAIN

Sree has had sex with Noirin, Angel, Marcus , Rodrigo, Charlie, three cameramen and me.

 

That is not true but who is watching to know otherwise?

 

The live update says that 'one of the housemates is snoring softly' and 'Angel is groaning'. No, you idiot, that's me.