The Swines

I say it after every series, but this time I think it might be true.

Really, surely, this time, it must be back to basics.

Enough already. I’m fed up with all the nastiness, and the walk-outs, and the late entry housemates, and the controversies, and the stupid “surprise eviction twists”, and the non-nominations.

I just want 12 or so housemates. They all nominate on a Monday, and the least popular two or more go up for the public vote. They’re then whittled down till there are five in the final week. One goes on Wednesday, one on Friday, one goes on Saturday, leaving two fighting it out on the Sunday.

Is it that complicated? Imagine if it had just been Shilpa versus Jermaine for one whole day. Wouldn’t that have been more exciting than a free for all of six?

I don’t mind the odd twist. After all, it mustn’t get too predictable. And if somebody walks, then someone else has to replace them.

Also, let’s cut the live feed to the house. We’ve all heard the “Get Grace Out” stuff, and “Get Jo Out” stuff. But in the long term it ruins the show. They should have no contact with the outside world. It makes for quick thrill tv. Much better for them to work it out among themselves, who is popular and who is not, than have them listening to people shouting over Davina’s voice.

Still, I reckon they’re going to have to be careful, even if they don’t want to. You can bet that the papers will be watching for any racial insults like a hawk next summer, so they’re going to have to make it nicer.

It's one thing taking off a show with only a week or so to go. But imagine if it happened two weeks into a thirteen week run. Channel Four would lose serious money, and its most popular show. And another station would take it up.

BB are going to have to sort themselves out. They have no choice.

So maybe next time we’ll talk more about what’s going on in the show, not what’s going on behind it.

Princess Meets the Queen

Still, on a happier note, not all the housemates did badly out of this. Shilpa has been invited to meet the Queen. I wonder who's the more excited?

Jo

On Monday Jo gave an interview to GMTV that made for painful viewing. So much so, that the Duchess of York chose to get involved. I myself found it so uncomfortable that I can't even be bothered to youtube it. If you really want to, go find it yourself. I could only watch it for a minute.

Whether she really was that nervous, that distressed, is hard to say. If she meant it, then she is clearly quite seriously out of control. If she was acting it, then it is worrying that she feels obliged to go that far. She was still spouting obvious nonsense, but pitiful nonsense it certainly was.

It's also worth bearing in mind that her agent died the day before. So, all in all, it was hardly surprising that she was in such a state.

Well, whatever you think of her, and I think her behaviour in the house was often very nasty indeed, it's also worth recalling that it was pretty clear very early on that she had what we laymen call "issues". Remember when she got in there, and she wouldn't take her coat off for a couple of hours?

I also wrote a post right quite early on in the show, suggesting that she looked seriously depressed. If an amateur like me can spot this, how come the psychologists working on the show didn't? We had this all through the summer. Remember Shahbaz? How on earth did he ever get through the vetting process?

As you know, Big Brother takes housemates' mental health very seriously.

Yeah, right.

It Isn't Over

The furore continues. Jade is in the priory. Teddy Sheringham has telephoned Danielle, and Danielle is talking to her lawyers about misrepresentation. I wouldn't write that one off out of hand. I'm pretty sure Melanie from BB1 sued, and settled out of court on similar grounds.

That''ll be a story worth following. And here are some others:

Will we see Jade on TV again?

Will we ever see Jack on TV again?

Will we ever see Jackiey on TV again?

Will Jo ever make another record?

Will Steps reform?

Will the Jacksons musical ever hit the stage?

Will we ever see Dirk again in a big acting role on UK TV?

Will Cleo ever make us laugh - again?

Will Leo have another hit?

Will Donny ever have a hit?

Will Ken ever make another movie?

Will Danielle ever again take her clothes off for money?

Will Carole ever write a non-bitchy column?

Will Shilpa become the big global superstar everyone seems to think she will become? Or will she find a nice man, settle down, have lots of babies, and never appear on TV again?

And what kind of crazy celebrities will sign up to do all this again next year?

Shilpa - the Press Conference

Here it is.

And here you can relive the moment of victory. There's some rather fancy camerawork there, along with a ridiculously prolonged pause by Davina.

If You're Missing Dirk

Here's an interview he did, fifteen years ago or so, with Richard and Judy.

The Morning After

There aren't any highlights of the last day in the house, so we'll never get to see the domino task. It's a real shame, it’s one of the best programmes of the series, watching them leave one by one, till there is only one in there, all alone. Why not? I wonder. I mean, we recovering BB addicts need a little fix before we go cold turkey on this, don't we?

63%

A worthy winner.

Kindness is a Strength

Look at Dirk. Truly chuffed at coming third, though he only got 16%.

And what a performer! Nothing was overstated. Nothing overdone.

And Jermaine looked pretty pleased to be second.

Still, there can only be one winner.

He Went in as H

And came out as Ian.

Well, at least the audience cheered him, even if he did only score 5.3%. All this nastiness can get rather depressing, can't it?

Still, I'm right about the order so far: Jack 6th, Danielle 5th, Ian 4th.

But I'm not so sure about the rest. Mind you, they've been my three favourites for ages, so why should I care? Decent people all.

They Make a Nice Couple, Don't They?

I mean, if Teddy really has dumped her.

But it is all a bit cruel, isn't it? I mean, he's not Ian Brady, and she isn't Myra Hindley.

They didn't score too well either. Jack got 3.13%, Danielle got 3.3%.

At least, with a bit of luck, I’ll never have to watch that clip of Gordon Brown talking very seriously about something he knows nothing about. Still, that’s something we’re all going to have get used to, isn’t it?

Fifteen Minutes and Counting...

Some questions:

Will Jade be there to welcome Jack into her loving arms?

Or will she have sent Jackiey along to welcome him into her loving arm?

Will Leo be there, or will he back in Australia?

Will Ken Russell have returned?
What about Donny?

Will Carole Malone be back? Will anyone remember who she is?

If Jack Wins Today Will the Last Person to Leave Britain Please Turn Out the Lights?

Interesting odds. Jermaine is easily the second favourite at 3-1, way ahead of Dirk at 12-1. Mind you, we get more surprises on CBB than normal BB. Kenzi was red hot favourite at 1-6 on the final day and came second.

And last year Preston was way ahead of the rest of them for most of the last week, only to come fourth.

Two Hours and Counting…

Tonight promises to be pretty rushed, doesn’t it? Six housemates in two hours. They did it last year, and in the summer as well.

Seems a bit odd that the winner will get a shorter interview than did Carole, but that’s how it is now.

To think, in BB1, they only had three people in for the final week. This time, it was eight.

Still, let’s see what happens. Davina was on BBLB and revealed that the first two would indeed be evicted and interviewed together. So that’s Danielle and Jack sorted. And it’s going to be indoors, instead of those crazy outdoor interviews they sometimes use. No repeat of the Makosi debacle of two years ago, then. I predicted all this, but then again, who didn't?

Maybe, once that’s all done, it will all be one big anticlimax. Hope not.

Stay Tuned

There will be live blogging, before during, and after the show, which starts at 8 tonight, and ends at 10. And I'll be back tomorrow for some Alan Hansen-style post game analysis. This isn't over yet.

Hope you'll join us.

The Winning Line

So, who do you want to win?

It says something about the resilience of this show, and what, at heart, lies a great idea, that in spite of all the cock-ups, mistakes, and nastiness that have happened over the last three and a bit weeks, I still care about who is going to win.

In fact, I think I care more about this one, than any BB since the very first. Over the last week, I've been switching back and forth between Shilpa, Dirk, and Jermaine.

Am I just behind Shilpa out of sympathy? No, I don't think so. I actually like her. She's polite, funny, civilised, and tries to see the good in people. She handled the whole race/bullying thing a lot better than most would, I reckon.

Dirk I've always liked. He's funny, outspoken, doesn't really care what people think of him, and doesn't always say the nice thing. When he doesn't like people, he doesn't mind letting them know, without being nasty, or bullying them back. That is so rare on a reality tv show. You don't have to agree with everything he says. But at least he says them. And he really likes people. He kept nominating his best pal Jermaine, purely because Jermaine was suffering and wanting to leave. Without Jermaine, life would have been even harder in there, yet he did it.

Jermaine is sweet, and kind, and thoughtful. But finally, he's one of those contestants who doesn't really deserve it. He hasn't earned it. 

So, finally, right now, on Sunday morning, this is how I hope it will be, in winning order:

Shilpa, Dirk, Jermaine, Ian, Danielle, and Jack.

And, believe it or not, that is also how I expect it to be.

Kebab Attack

Have you played the game yet? It's down there on the left. The first time I did it I got 3, the second time I got 84. Since then I've barely got twenty.

What's your highest total?

How Do You Solve A Problem Like Danielle?

How do they evict her? BB must be hoping she's coming last out of the six. If she is, then they could easily sweep her out via the diary room in a "surprise eviction" tonight, without a crowd, leaving the final five for tomorrow.

I don't imagine she's collecting many Votes to Win at the moment. But then neither will Jack. The nightmare for BB is if Danielle is more popular than Jack.

I suppose they could do a double eviction tonight, getting rid of both, to no crowd. That would be one way.

And there's the Teddy Sheringham issue. Not only will Danielle have to go through the same "Are you a bully? Are you a racist?" interview stuff we've already seen with Jade and Jo, but the West Ham man has seemingly dumped her. Will Davina bring that up?

You can bet, if she's evicted on her own, to a big crowd tomorrow night, she'll be in for the shock of her life.

SUNDAY UPDATE: Well, she's still in there! I guess it must be a simultaneous eviction again, with she and Jack coming out to a firestorm. We shall see.

Almost There

Well I was right about the simultaneous eviction. And it was Jo and Cleo. With an enormous vote too. Jo got 48.4%, and Cleo got 27.9%. So if everybody else got 0 except Dirk, Dirk still only got 23.7% so it wasn't at all close.

Anyway, justice was done.

Having said that, I thought Jo acquitted herself quite well. It was odd, watching her when she heard the "Get Jo Out" cry, that that was the first time in all her time in there that she actually seemed to be aware that there was an audience for this show. I don't think I've ever seen a less self-conscious contestant ever. She never seemed to play to the cameras. As she said, she just went in to be herself, and that was what she was, like it or not.

The interview was pretty painful, though. Just a rehash of the one with Jade, but she was more defiant, whereas Jade, who was clearly better briefed, went for the sympathy vote, gushing and apologising the whole time. Yeah, she got away with a lot, but that was Davina's fault. It all seemed rushed, and she never really asked her why she picked on people. Not just Shilpa, but Dirk too. Jo always seemed to have to have an enemy.

Cleo, meanwhile... well people like that seldom win, do they? In life and on Big Brother, now and again you have to make a stand, and if you sit on the fence forever, and only say nice things about people, sooner or later you'll come a cropper. It's the same with Ian, who could so easily have won this.

If Ian had had a few words with Jade, he'd now be favourite. Same with Jermaine. Whereas now I expect Shilpa to walk this, and Dirk may now come second.

For all Jermaine's niceness, he never steps up to the plate and delivers, does he? Say what you like about Dirk, at least he calls it like it is. Loved his dancing, too.

Blanket Jackson

On yesterday's show, Jermaine talked about his little nephew Blanket. None of them seem to have heard of the little chap.

Yeah, but I bet they've seen him.

Keep Shilpa In

Over at Keepshilpain.com they give out the numbers you should phone to keep Shilpa in. And you know what? Dirk isn't listed.

All of her enemies are, but not Dirk.

That takes class.

Whatever Happened to the Big Brother Mailbox?

Remember opening night? Remember how you could email in questions to ask the contestants?
Is that something else that got lost among the rest of the turmoil?

Or were one or two of the questions a little.... controversial?

UPDATE at 5.45. Weird. BB sent out a press release announcing that, lo and behold, this task was going to take place tonight, Live on E4. Thus, and I quote:

"In a Big Brother first, viewers' questions will be sent in via the Big Brother Facts Machine situated on the wall in the in the Living Area.
An incoming question will be signaled by a red light on the Big Brother Facts Machine. One Housemate must collect the question and read it aloud to the rest of the group.
RULES
" Housemates must attempt to answer all viewer questions truthfully.
" Housemates must read the question aloud first before answering.
The group are free to discuss the questions amongst themselves

Then, eight minutes later, they send out another release saying it's been "postponed until further notice".

Conspiracy Theory

So, why isn't it vote to save?

Tonight Jo goes, that much is true. But how? Much as I'd love to see her stride out in her dressing-gown and smoking a fag to a chorus of boos, could BB really risk it?

But what if, not only there is a double eviction, but a simultaneous one.

At the moment Jo is 1-100 to be first out. Knowing this, if you were one of those desperate for Shilpa to lose, what would you do? Next time it really is vote to save, so, if you want her out, it's now or never.

This would of course destroy BB's plan to let Shilpa win, and therefore prove that the programme isn't racist after all. But if she can leave with Jo, at the same time, it means the crowd won't boo. And there can be a nice and tame, and all girls together interview at the end, with no horrid questions about racism and bullying.

And Jermaine wins, which is the next best thing for the anti-racist message to get through.

Okay, it's a bit left field. But if the housemates are allowed to get so paranoid, why can't the viewers?

Even if it isn't Shilpa, and it is someone else, well simultaneous eviction still makes sense. Anything to ruffle the boos, eh?

Remember Sada?

She was the first contestant to go in, and the first one to leave, all the way back, in the summer of 2000.

Well, she's selling her suitcase on ebay. £25 as I write.

Mind you, it's collecting "dust and mould" in her loft.

The Great Thing About the Re-Vote

Is that Cleo is now second favourite for the chop. Yesterday Dirk was edging her, but by the wonderful power of editing, Cleo has jumped back into second place.

It seems to me, if nothing else, she deserves to go simply for telling Jack: "You have a wisdom about you".

Either she was sending him up, which is plain cruel, or she meant it, in which case she must suffer.

I do, of course, agree with Rachel, that Dirk must be "an absolute pain to live with". But hey, I don't have to do that! I only have to watch him. But he is funny, and intelligent, and has good stories to tell. And living with the sulphurous trio of Jo, Danielle, and Cleo can't be a barrel of laughs, either.

The intriguing question is, does he really want to stay? The bravura performance he put on in the diary room suggests that he is at least trying. And there are only two days left. How hard can it be now, with the winning line in sight? On the other hand, it's not like they get any more cash if they win. For the same reason, I can well believe that Jo also wants to go.

I guess the nightmare scenario for Dirk is that Ian and Shilpa go, and he's left in there with Cleo and Jo. But that simply isn't going to happen.

Breaking News - Vote Cancelled

Check out the post below.

Basically, all voting is cancelled as of immediate effect, but will reopen tonight after the show.

There is no way Jo will escape being booted out of the house on Friday, so the only interesting question to pose is who will join her to get jeered when they walk down the famous steps?

The bookies reckon Cleo could go. I can see why because she's become slightly psycho, although who wouldn't in that hell house.

My money is on Dirk. He's come across really badly and I can imagine him being an absolute pain to live with. I doubt he'll be concerned about what the public think of him, and he'll toddle back to

Montana

and his life as a near recluse. For Jo and Danielle however, their lives will change dramatically.

I can't help but think that Danielle's behaviour has forfeited a lucrative career as a glamour girl. She'll be tainted by the programme for a long time to come. Jo on the other hand has done herself few favours and any hope of relaunching her career is all but extinguished.

I can't wait to see how they react to the crowd when they leave. It'll be a priceless moment.

Posted by Rachel Richardson, Showbusiness editor, News of the World

Confusion Reigns

Over at the Times Blog a lot of the commenters are taking a somewhat hysterical reaction to the news that Channel Four bosses have come out fighting. Not only are they saying that no one will be sacked because of the race row, but also that the race row has saved the show:

"This was in danger of being the most boring BB that we’d had in many years".

It does, of course, take a certain nerve to come out with such a thing. Nice for race relations in this country, eh? Not to mention the rest of the world. Never mind Jade, Jo, and Danielle's future careers ( if they have any ). And who said it was boring, anyway? And if it was, why was it? Jade, Jackiey and Jack, I tell you.

Still, he would say that, wouldn't he? It's a bit like Tony Blair singing Charles Clarke's praises, and then sacking him the next day. That's what bosses are paid to do. But wait till Ofcom get their grips on this.

The bigger story today is that at the end of last night's programme, the number by Shilpa's name was to SAVE. Everybody else had EVICT by them. This has happened before, of course.

Now they're talking of scrapping all the votes from last night and starting again. If any of you voted, I hope you get a refund.

3.41 p.m. UPDATE:

They are scrapping all the votes. Here's a press release from Endemol, published minutes ago:

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Statement re Friday night eviction vote:

Last night, at the end of Celebrity Big Brother, there was an error in the on-screen information about Friday night's eviction vote in relation to the eviction phone line details for Shilpa. While the voice-over was correct and stated "To vote to evict Shilpa" the on-screen text mistakenly read "To vote to save Shilpa".

Endemol has issued this statement:

"This was a genuine mistake which was due to human error. We apologise to viewers and feel the best way to rectify it is to cancel the vote so far and re-open the voting again this evening, at the end of tonight's show. We have consulted with our independent adjudicator before making this decision.

Viewers who voted can have a full refund and any unclaimed monies will be donated to charity. Following this error the profits from Friday night's re-opened eviction voting will also go to the candidates charities."

4.06 UPDATE:

Thinking about this, this could really help Dirk. His odds have been drifting all day. If he gets a favourable edit tonight, and Cleo an unfavourable one, and Dirk survives, I imagine a lot of Cleo fans might get a bit worked up about this. Endemol have really messed up with this.

4.12 UPDATE:

The official site has yet to be updated. Yet the phone numbers aren't being given out. Given that they've put out this release, you have to ask why?

If Dirk Goes Tomorrow...

Maybe the long-awaited romance between Shilpa and Mr. Jackson will at last take place.

And if they do, maybe it will lead to little children much like these.

Fact, Fact

Hey, I got that right, didn't I? And it's vote to evict, and a double culling too.

Looks pretty clear to me that Jo is toast, and Cleo will follow her out half an hour later. Will Jo get called to the diary room and slip away without a crowd, or will she do the walk of death?

Nominations were good, though, weren't they?

I guess like everyone I was shocked that Shilpa nominated the Dirkster, but then of course, he's been asking her to do it, pleading with her to nominate him. Of course, she couldn't give this as a reason, or if she did it was cut, so instead she came up with the lame stuff about him not taking a joke.

The good thing about it being Cleo and Jo leaving on Friday - if indeed it is those two - will be that it really shakes the house up for a bit.

One of the best things about BB, especially in its last week, is seeing how often the housemates get it wrong about who is popular on the outside. BB7 was sooooo predictable because we knew, and they all knew, from the very first week that Pete was going to win.

But think back to BB5, when everyone was convinced that Stuart was going to win. When he left through the diary room two days before finals' night, the rest of them thought he had only gone because he had won.

Why did they think this? Because he was the most popular person in the house.

Same goes for this year. Jermaine is the most popular housemate, and therefore everyone thinks he will win. And Dirk, I think we can all agree, is now the least popular housemate. His staying, over Jo and more importantly, over Cleo, will stir them up a little.

Which means the last two days might see some significant reappraisals going on in there.

Rumours, Rumours

Apparently no less than five are up:

Cleo, Dirk, Ian, Jo, and Shilpa.

Jo will almost certainly go, even if it's vote to save, which it may be, as BB might not run the risk of a lot of disaffected Jadefans phoning to evict Shilpa.

So will she get a crowd? Will they do a double? How are they going to get rid of Danielle without rotten eggs and tomatoes being thrown at her?

Questions, questions.

Nominations

Yesterday afternoon they nominated.

Yet they haven't told us who's up.

Why? Because they don't know what to do. It could be Dirk versus Shilpa, which they don't want. They don't want to lose Dirk just yet, as his clash with Cleo is the only big story at the moment.

And they haven't yet decided if it's going to be a double eviction either, in which case the third least popular housemate has to be thrown into the mix. That could be Jermaine, and they don't want him going either.

It's getting mighty complicated for our beloved production team. How do they evict Jo and Danielle? They have a tradition of outside interviews for the final, but it is quite certain that if either of them - and Jack - gets interviewed like that the whole thing will be drowned in a sea of boos.

And they can't give them the Jade treatment, and not have a crowd at all. Wouldn't be fair on the winner, would it?

If I find out anything, you'll be the first to know.

The Trouble with Danielle

is really the trouble with Jade. If Jade hadn't gone in there, I can well imagine that Danielle would be seen as quite a controversial character ( well she's controversial all right, but I mean in a good way ). While a lot of people would have found her irritating and selfish, a lot of people would have loved her.

There's a touch of the Helen from BB2 in her, mixed in with a bit of Nikki from BB7. She's daffy, and silly, and lazy, and she flies off the handle. But she is bubbly and quite bright-eyed and bush-tailed.

If Jade hadn't gone in there, Danielle would only have had Jo to bring out the worst in her. Usually, when there are only two likeminded souls in BB, they become pretty annoying, but not positively nasty. Remember Caggy and Nicola in BB1? Imagine if there'd been a third one of them.

Danielle, also, would have had to try and get along with Donny and Ken as well, which she was doing pretty well at the time.

The best part of this show is seeing people who wouldn't ordinarily get along, get along. There hasn't been enough of that this series.

You could also say the same about Jo, though she seems a tougher nut to crack. And I don't suppose even her best friend would describe her as daffy and bubbly.

Hasn't Jack cheered up since his Missus left?

Some Minor Points

Big Brother told the group that five had to pass the laughing task. Only four did. Danielle, Dirk, Cleo, and Jack all failed.

When Jade was evicted the caption in the left hand corner of your television said it was "Live".

It wasn't. It took place 50 minutes earlier.

Jade, Russell, Dermot, and Davina are all signed up to the same management company. As is Matthew Wright, who interviewed her on Channel 5 on Monday. As, indeed, is Cleo.

Jade has filmed a pilot for a chat show for Endemol ( who make Big Brother ). Putting her in Big Brother was supposed to be a launch pad for it.

In case you didn't know.

Spencer Moon

Apparently actor Christopher Parker was invited to go in after Carole left. He said no.

Maybe Next Year?

Former footballer Mark Bosnich, actor/actress Alexis Arquette, and photographer Darryn Lyons, all of whom have been holed up in a London hotel for a week, have finally been sent home.

Presumably they've all been paid. Presumably, quite possibly, they've got more money out of this that did Danny Tourette, and maybe even Ken Russell. How weird is that? Mind you, I wonder what they did all week. They wouldn't have been allowed newspapers, or even tv, I imagine. Did they even meet?

The story seems to be that they were all going to go in at the weekend, but that was before the Jade rumpus happened, and Operation Save Big Brother kicked in. If all three had gone in, anything could have happened. Hey, one of them might even have gone on and won, which would have ruined everything.

This explains why they are now hyping the Cleo/Dirk storyline. Both of them were near-favourites, but now BB are desperately editing things so that Shilpa wins this. That shouldn't be too hard, seeing as she's now the hot favourite. But If she can stay in for a week, win, and befriend Jo and Danielle, then BB will hope that the racism row will have died down, that Jo and Danielle's reputations can be saved, and everything in the garden is dandy.

So now they are hoping that Cleo and Dirk will be nominated. Get rid of one, then get rid of the other next time. So this website was set-up in vain. It isn't going to happen.

Of course, somebody will eventually end up getting sacked. Probably C4 Chairman Luke Johnson, who is going to retire soon anyway.

And you thought this was just a game show, didn't you?

A Fascinating Post About Bullying

I don't usually link to postings at forums, but this post by Urban Angel is quite brilliant, particularly so, in the light of what Cleo was up to on Saturday, I feel.

Carry on Cleo

Or rather don't.

She's like an unsexy Barbara Windsor. And Jack is like an unfunny Bernard Bresslaw. I could go on.

But what's wrong with her? I've said before that I've had my suspicions, but I never thought she could go this badly so quickly. She's seen Jade evicted to NO CROWD. She even explains to the others what that signifies. So what does she do? Try and humiliate Dirk. Then she goes to the diary room and says she wants to see him "crack". Is she mad?

Okay, she can try and laugh it off as a joke, but it was long drawn out, he told her to stop, yet Cleo carried on. And then she had the nerve to get all high and mighty and condemn Dirk for talking about porn with "young girls", and claiming that he secretly fancies all of them.

Cleo, he barely knows you exist.

I don't think I have seen a more clear depiction of a woman jealous of another. Underneath the smiley face lurks a "despairing" and "desperate" woman ( as Dirk so succinctly put it ) who can't believe that Dirk likes Shilpa, and doesn't like her.

Hell hath no fury, eh?

Your Claim to Fame is This

Time for some light relief.

Do you think this will be next week's number one?

Warning: if you're at work, look out, there is some swearing involved.

Defending Jermaine

There have been a lot of comments made, some of which I have deleted or cut, suggesting that it was Jermaine who fired the first shot in the racism row. Well here is a word for word transcript of what he said to Shilpa, about Jade:

"She's a star, so she has a following and a fanbase her mother doesn't. She does not care and I don't want to go like this, it was referred to her, they bought up the word white trash and I don't want to bring that up, and I wouldn't call her that because she's a human being. But the fact is, she doesn't care. Have you seen that show Jerry Springer? Have you heard about the show where they bring people on, where they tell their business and they go crazy? They get people like that because they have no self-respect. Sometime I mean, I help her because I'm supposed to, not supposed to, but I feel it's a godly thing to do, to help her, she needs help. Dont worry about it, just be strong. You told me to calm you. I, er, put it like this, we have to be bigger and stronger. We have to, at the end of the day, we have to be bigger and stronger".

So I really don't think it's fair to accuse Jermaine of anything here. He was trying to back her up, trying to defend Jade, pointing out that someone else had used the phrase "white trash", not him, and that he wouldn't use the phrase himself. That's about as innocent and decent as it can get, in my book.

Why Didn't Jade Get Called to the Diary Room?

A lot of this could have been avoided if a producer had grabbed a microphone and done so. Watch this video taken from the summer. It's a row between Richard, Imogen, and Sezer, with Glyn and Mikey chipping in along the way.

Okay, it's been edited, so we don't how long it went on, but Sezer gets called in when things are actually quite contained. Sure, they're heated, but there isn't the sheer nastiness that we saw with Jade. And Richard was certainly holding his own.

Jade: The Interview

First part here, second part here.

Also here, are some video excerpts of the interview.

There's a comment piece by Trevor Phillips of the Commission for Racial Equality here.

And a leader comment here.

It's worth remembering that Jade is giving both her fee for the interview and her £50K fee for appearing on the programme to good causes nominated by both Jade and Shilpa.

So what do you think? I think I've made it pretty clear over the past two and half weeks what I've made of Jade, and the interview hasn't really changed my opinion of her. But what do you think?

Comment away.

Jade Eviction: Reality Bites

That made for uncomfortable viewing, didn't it.

My questions are:

1 - was BB's blatant intervention enough to appease the sponsors?

2 - by so obviously letting the contestants in on the goings-on in the outside world - breaking the most sacred rule of the 'game' - have they finally wrecked it for good?

3 - does anyone else feel a bit, um, icky?

4 - will jade make the quickest comeback in celebrity history (measured in Moss units)?

5 - has Jermaine worn that jumper at least once every day he's been in the house?

Comments below.

Battle of the Giants

Or damp squib more like.

Tonight's eviction won't take place in front of a crowd, and the interview won't be live. There won't even be a post-show press conference.

Moreover, they've been primed about the racism row. Danielle was in the diary for forty minutes, not two as was shown, so she knows what's being going on. And last night live, Jade and her pals were talking about racism and little else.

So they know what's coming.

The question is, how hard-hitting will Davina be? She can be very frustrating sometimes. Often with the controversial ones she butters them up, and saves the hardest questions for those  who don't really entertain. Remember the summer, when she gave the innocuous Suzie a bit of a bashing.

Then again, she really gave George Galloway a hard time this time last year.

So what will she say to Jade? We shall see.

It's Only A Gameshow

Okay, so why doesn't anyone else stick up for her? Why, when Jade was going crazy, did nobody else go and shout at Jade and tell her she was out of order?

Well, it is only a gameshow.

This is the thing people forget. But those in there, they know.

Remember when Jade was first introduced. Neither Jermaine nor Shilpa nor Dirk had a clue who she was. Nor did Ken, and he's English, and he's watched the show.

She then tells them she's the most successful BB contestant ever, and the 25th most influential person in the world.

So they think, she must be doing something right. Likewise, Jo and Danielle. Not only is she quite like them, they think she is popular. Hang out with Jade, and success will follow, is what they think.

So when the big Oxo cube argument took place, those who were shocked were paralysed. Partly, because they thought this can't be what she's really like. Out there, in the real world. She's just putting on a show "for the cameras". Partly, too, because there is little point. You can't reason with stupidity, remember. And partly because they don't mind: they think it will help her get evicted.

This happens time and again on Big Brother. People behave far worse than they do in real life, and the others do nothing. Remember in the summer when Jayne was breaking all the rules. In real life, kept to basic rations, deprived of a swimming pool and clothes and so on, everyone would have had a go at her. But people held back because they kept thinking that this would go down badly with the public. People would vote them off. It might not be good behaviour, but it will get them voted out.

So Jo and Danielle applaud Jade, because they think people will warm to her. Cleo, and Ian, and Dirk and Jermaine try not get involved, because they think that, sooner rather than later, Jade will get evicted.

It explains too, why Shilpa got less upset about it than did Ian or Jermaine. She knows this is a game more than they do. Among other reasons.

How to Deal with Jade

I can't quite see Shilpa making the same suggestion as Alex does.

Jade Apologises!

She never promised me a rose garden.

When Jade Goody makes the front page of the NY Times it confirms that Big Brother is no ordinary TV show.

And the CBB race row is no ordinary story. Not many controversies can stay at the top of the new agenda for three solid days. And tomorrow will be no different after millions tune in to see tonight's episode.

I can reveal that Jade is taken to task for calling Shilpa, "Shilpa Poppadom". Big Bruv asks her outright if she is racist and Jade flatly denies it.

Her claims of innocence won't help her on Friday's eviction though and Jade will almost certainly come out of the house to a chorus of boos.

It's a strange irony that the same show that made her a millionaire, has now sullied her reputation and led to her top-selling perfume being stripped from the shelves.

Jade will probably bounce back and I'll hopefully find out how she plans to do so and all of her thoughts on the furore during the press conference on Friday night.

We'll be printing pages of coverage on Sunday, so make sure you don’t miss it.

Posted by Rachel Richardson, Showbusiness editor, NOTW 

JADE VERSUS SHILPA

It's true - just been confirmed by Channel Four Chief Executive Andy Duncan at a press conference that is still going on.

I wonder who'll win.

If Only

Sometimes you get to wonder. What if the Russian linesman hadn't said that the ball had crossed the line in 1966? What if Al Gore had beaten George W. Bush in the 2000 election? And what if the housemates had chosen to keep Lynne instead of Jade in 2002?

Here it is again, slightly edited in week one of that year, when the housemates were given their fateful choice. Why did they choose to keep Jade? Because Lynne kept getting into arguments. Irony, eh? But those were the good old days, when Jade used to cry a lot, and all the guys used to treat her like their silly younger sister.

Maybe Lynne would be back in the house right now. I wonder if she has a one-armed lesbian mother.