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GOOD old Penelope Cruz. Doesn’t matter how highbrow the movie, Pen will somehow find a way to squeeze a nude scene in.
And in that respect, Elegy does not disappoint. In that respect, anyway.
Ben Kingsley stars as David Kepesh: Intellectual, broadcaster and all-round scarf-wearing berk who can’t even go to the loo without referencing Tolstoy.
TALK about greasy lovers—JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE is so worried his lady JESSICA BIEL is too thin, he's ordered her to pig out on BURGERS and BEER.
A source told me: "Jessica really loves to work out and so does Justin, but lately it seems like that's all she is doing.
Too thin? Tell us what you think by clicking through.
DO-GOODER Sir BOB GELDOF is sending druggie daughter Peaches to AFRICA, I can reveal.
The scruffy poverty campaigner has had enough of her wild-child ways and is hoping a spell helping others might whip her into shape.
Peaches Geldof slideshow
PREVIOUSLY, on car crash TV... Yep, BRITNEY SPEARS is now set to star in her own telly show.
The troubled singer has ordered her vast entourage to start carrying professional video cameras around to film her every move, 24/7.
A source told me: "Britney's bodyguards and staff have been told not to miss a thing.
MISERABLE Mucca HEATHER MILLS is panicking over what her ex-publicist MICHELE ELYZABETH will reveal next.
Furious Michele, who defended Heather in the US for four years before quitting last week, has already said she doesn't believe the stash of secret tapes Mucca threatened Sir PAUL McCARTNEY with ever existed.
Now Heather is terrified even juicier revelations are just around the corner.
A source said: "Michele knows where all the bodies are buried—not literally, of course—but what she knows is bad enough to bring Heather down in flames.
"Heather is going frantic over whether she'll talk or not."
IMAGINE waking up next to this every morning, chaps.
Sadly, model GISELE BUNDCHEN is already spoken for—and looks set to wed soon.
Gisele Bundchen slideshow
Sweet-faced MILEY CYRUS has been offered $1 MILLION to become to face of a US condom firm.
The wholesome 15-year-old Hannah Montana star, who’s pledged to stay off sex until her wedding night, is being courted by LifeStyles Condoms, who say she’s the ‘obvious choice’.
Miley Cyrus slideshow
SMITTEN SIENNA MILLER dreams of marrying millionaire BALTHAZAR GETTY, I can reveal.
It comes after the dad-of-four confirmed this week that he had left Rosetta, his wife of eight years.
And if the 33-year-old heir to a £25 BILLION oil fortune gets a quickie divorce, Sienna, 26, hopes they'll be able tie the knot in the future.
STREET rapper DIZZEE RASCAL has been nursing a secret heartache after his beloved ex-girlfriend died in a horror car crash.
Pretty KAYA BOUSQUET, who lived with Dizz for two years, was killed in a motorway tragedy earlier this year.
YOU Lunar-tic! MADONNA wants to fly to the MOON to get away from her brother's tell-all book about her life, I can reveal.
The Queen of Pop says she can't wait to pay £100,000 to hop onboard RICHARD BRANSON'S SpaceShipTwo, the vehicle he says will turn space tourism into a reality by 2013.
I'VE been sick of seeing RHYS IFANS cowering in shop doorways knocking back booze like a heartbroken puppy.
So praise be to the new love in his life who I predict will get him back on track.
I can reveal funnyman Rhys has been getting cosy with ALISON MOSSHART from THE KILLS, since SIENNA MILLER dumped him a month ago.
HAIR today, gone tomorrow. Well, it looks that way for cheeky Mockney RUSSELL BRAND.
The hairy lothario has gone and ordered all-in-one body shaver, the Braun Cruzer 4.
R&B sensation ALICIA KEYS had a Fallin' out in Indonesia after her gig was part-sponsored by a ciggie firm.
Alicia was fuming and demanded all links to tobacco giant Philip Morris International be removed from posters around the capital Jakarta.
Now the firm has withdrawn its sponsorship.